Ink Plate Press

Cover Snark: Once Again, Shirts Are Too Complicated


Welcome back to Cover Snark!

All I Want for Christmas is Utahraptor by Lola Faust. A brunette woman in a red dress with a plunging neckline kisses a raptor while snow falls.

Elyse: Is that Taylor Swift?

Sarah: Whoa. Maybe?

Elyse: “You got that gray-green scaly thing that I like…”

Amanda: I appreciate the quality of this cover for such a silly book, but I don’t envy a giant reptile in the snow.

Seduced by Flames by Vella Day. A green, scaled background with flames coming up from the bottom. All we see if a shirtless muscled back with lots of shadows and shapes.

From PamG: So. What about this guy’s musculature? I mean his head is literally smaller than his upper left arm (which appears to be whispering in his ear.) The right arm is simply unidentifiable. The blurb sounds like the hero is an actual human, so what are we even looking at here? Let’s just call this “Cryptid Anatomy Fail.“

Sarah: I am seeing shapes in the deltoid region and it is alarming me.

Amanda: A real Rorschach test going on here.

Bad at Being Good by A.L. Morrow. A man with bleach blond hair in a tight, white long sleeve shirt, but it appears he got distracted putting it on because it only goes to about his nipples.

From Susan West of Mars: What the everliving FUCK is up with this dude’s clothing?

Sarah: is that Derek Hough?

And why does it say “BAD AT BEING GOOP.”

Susan: I thought he was wearing a really high-cut thong but no, that’s just some REALLY bright highlights

Elyse: I’m getting a bleached Sebastian Stan

Amanda: Add this to the collection of cover models getting stuck while trying to put on a shirt.

Sarah: Bad at Using the Dryer.

Touch of Ice by Mary Auclair. A very icy cover with frost around the edges. A castle is in the distance. There's another bare, very muscled back.

From Gloriamarie: Such as what is wrong with this guy’s back? Is the ice swallowing him whole?

Sarah: I have some concerns about his immune system, for sure.

Shana: Is he a gremlin? All those bumps on his back looks like the ice is making him pop off more little green gremlins

Carrie: Pssh that’s just frostbite.

Sarah: As in an insect named Frost bit him, and he’s allergic?

Carrie: Hmmm let me consult my medical degree from Grey’s Anatomy University: yes that could be it



Source link

About The Author

Scroll to Top